What if I don´t have anorexia?

What if I´m actually healthy? Normal-sized? Fit?

Could it be?

I just got back from my therapist appointment. It was terrible…

But something that she said caught my attention.

She asked me what did I normaly eat, on a regular basis. And I told her what I had eaten a few days ago…

-1/2 container of non-fat plain yogurt with 1/2 a granola bar

-a mini-apple

-small slice of spinach pie, steamed veggies

-little piece of grilled chicken, tomatoes, carrots, beets

And here´s what she told me:

“Hum… Ok. That´s actually pretty healthy. That´s not too low at all.”

I´m just really confused right now… Everyone (from the family) says I have anorexia, that I have to put on a few pounds, that I´m way too thin…

If this is true, why did she say that? Why do I feel no one except for my parents thinks I´m too thin?

I remember that back in January, when I went to see that nutritionist, she told my Dad I didn´t really have to gain any weight. But, if I (my Dad) wanted to, she could give me a special diet so I could gain about 6 pounds (to stay on a healthy weight).

It all makes sense now… But, at the same time, it doesn´t.

Am I sick or not?

Oh, gosh. I´m sorry to bother you guys again, but I´d really love to hear your thoughts. Your opinions. Advices?

Thank you, lovies. For reading, listening to what I have to say. For all the help you´ve been giving me.

Believe me, I appreciate that. So. much.

I hope you all have a great Friday…





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10 responses to “Misunderstood

  1. It really pains me to see that your therapist said this to you. Anorexia (or any eating disorder) is SO MUCH MORE than the number on the scale. Weight is only one sympton of disordered eating. I am no expert, but have had MORE than my fair share of experience with these things and even if one person says you are at a healthy weight, “healthy” is a difficult term to define…..a healthy weight on one person won't be a healthy weight on another person. And in today's world, people whose collarbones stick out are called “toned” so people's perspectives are very distorted. Your parents have known you your whole life so I would trust their opinion above most people as to what is normal or healthy for YOUR BODY…based on eating habits and your weight when you didn't have any unhealthy thoughts about food or exercise. SO, regardless of your weight, if you restrict your eating and overexercise or even view food in certain ways, then you might need help to overcome these things. And based upon my own work with a FABULOUS, well-balanced nutritionist, what you listed that you ate in a day is NOT EVEN CLOSE to enough food for a 30 year old like myself, let alone a still growing teenager!! Hope you get all the help that you might need!! Feel free to email me if you have any questions (chocolatepickle18@yahoo.com)….I know how confusing it is to go through such things!

  2. hi sweetness.. i am sooo sorry your therapist said this too! i believe you may not be “as sick” as other girls with the same problems, BUT anorexia is so different for EVERYONE. there is no one case that mirrors the other. i agree with the above commenter who said that your family knows you- and i think they helped intervene in something that could have been much much worse. i was kinda the same way, never went to seek medical help, but at 102 pounds and never eating, fainting, and sick all the time… what was I if i wasn't anorexic? i just wasn't as skinny or as restrictive as other girls i knew with eating disorders, i never made myself purge, never self-harmed, but i was still ashamed over how HUGE i thought i was, when in reality im much bigger now! eating disorders are so complex..
    keep going to therapy, keep trying to stay healthy in your diet and your mind and you can fight it!!!!

  3. Sweetie, I cannot believe your therapist said that to you. You know you're struggling, you've admitted it yourself…as others have said, ED is so much more than a number on a scale. You have to confront the mental aspect of this disease, as well as the physical. Your parents know you better than anyone, and they can see you are struggling. I would share the therapist's comment with your mother, and maybe consider finding a new therapist…I don't understand how she could think that what you're eating is enough to maintain, let alone gain. Please, please love- do what you know is right, and fight this head on. I know you're strong enough to do it 🙂

  4. It's hard to say, but in my opinion, that is a very low amount of food that might be okay for an elderly person or an invalid, but not for a young woman. Remember that your therapist's strength is therapy, not nutrition! You should stick to your nutritionist's advice in that matter, girl! And like other people said, it's not all about what you eat or what you weigh…it's a mental issue too! Be strong, girl! And don't forget that your family and friends love you and you'll be so happy once you've conquered this!

  5. Although she asked how much you were eating, did she ask about how active you are? The amount of food needed is different for everyone! Personally, I would trust my parents over a therapist. They know you best and are only looking out for you!

  6. jamandjessica

    Honey-bee…it's rubbish that your therapist is confusing you when her job is to do the opposite.
    Eating disorders in any form are so much more than the number on the scale. You have said yourself that you feel like you are struggling so I am shocked your therapist would be so discouraging.
    IMO, for your age and activity level…that's NOT enough food and for a professional, trained therapist, it's ridiculous for her to say so. I had people saying that to me for a while BUT I was sick, my ED was controlling my life but because I was eating the absolute bare minimum nobody took much notice. It wasn't until I got worse that my parents intervened. ED's are so complex and individual and as others have said your parents know you better and want you to be happy and healthy.

    I know you are struggling right now but you can fight through this and you deserve so much more than ED is offering you.

    *Hugs and kisses* xxxxx

    (p.s. email me anytime if you need to)

  7. First of all, I want to strangle your therapist. Seriously. “Professionals” like that are the reason that so many people have a difficult time recovering from ED's; they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. The food choices you make might be “healthy”, but the portions are not. You need more, hun. Deep down you know you do.

    Secondly, anorexia isn't classified by the number on the scale, but by the thoughts in your head. If you fear food, there's something wrong. IF you won't let yourself eat more, there's something wrong. If you feel a compulsion to constantly exercise, there's something wrong. You've admitted that you struggle, hun, so you KNOW that something is not right. Please, please don't listen to the crazy therapist and do what you have to do to be healthy.

  8. i am completely disgusted that your therapist made a comment like that. please make sure that you confront her about that comment, because although you are a strong girl and will be able to handle listening to crap like that without letting it derail you, there may be another patient of hers in the future who is not as strong and would be devastated by a thoughtless statement like that. UGH!! it pisses me off so much to realize how incompetent so many “experts” are! i've had my fair share of stupid doctors/nurses say things that are so triggering, but ultimately at the end of the day it is YOUR health, your life, your body that you must take care of. don't get sucked in to the idea that you have to “prove” you are sick enough to get help….that is just setting yourself up for complete disaster. i am not a dietitian but i know for a fact that you do not eat enough, given what you listed here. please take care of yourself! i'm here for you!

  9. I'm just joining in here and have not read your older posts (yet), but I'd say your intake is very low. The average person is supposed to get AT LEAST 1,200 calories, and I'd guess that one day of eating is about 800. I'm no expert, especially because my problem tends to be OVER indulging, but I think slowly trying to eat bigger portions would be a good start. And ditch that therapist–stat!


  10. I realize that you wrote this post a few days ago, but I'm glad that I was able to read it. Here's the thing about ED, while I have never had it, one thing I know for sure is that if you feel in your heart that you are not complete, as in you are not being the girl that you've always known, and/or your family is noticing it, then something is wrong and something needs to be fixed. So many people go through life just tolerating it because they think that is how life goes. Yes life can be hard, but God put us on this earth to fulfill a purpose, not to feel as if a piece of us is missing. Really take a moment and reflect on your life from 3 years ago up until now. Have you noticed a change in yourself? Your happiness or your eating habits? If so you may have ED, or perhaps something else. I'm praying that one day you will feel as beautiful as we all see you. 🙂

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