Monthly Archives: December 2010

Last Post of The Decade

Hello, everyone!

How cool is that, people? Today’s the last day of the decade!

And, of course, my last post, too.

That makes me incredibly happy… but a bit sad, too. I mean, 2010 flied! Don’t you think so?

I almost couldn’t believe it when Dad told me today was New Year’s Eve. Is it? Haha.

2010 was definitely a great year. I mean, obviously, I’ve had my ups and downs. But overall, I’d say it was a success.

And, by the way – your comments on my last post helped me SO much!

I talked to Mom, and instead of saying she’d stop, she taught me valuable lesson.

She said: “I don’t read minds. Nobody does. You should know by now that people usually joke. And jokes are not always nice. I’m sorry I hurted you, but you shouldn’t be so upset. You shouldn’t let people’s words get to you so much. Otherwise, everytime someone disappoints you or says something “wrong” or “bad” about you, you’ll be devastated. And I don’t want to see you sad and unhappy all the time. I want to see you strong and happy. Be strong, sweetheart.”

Ok, so maybe these were not her exact words. But it’s the same message.

It was kind of hard to hear, but I know it’s true. I shouldn’t let people’s comments and jokes get to me so much.

Isn’t our Moms (almost) always right?

Anyhow, I figured I should post a few reasons why I’m actually proud to be short.

I might not be able to reach to the highest shelf…

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(taking pics with the “timer” function isn’t easy, ok?)

But I can sure hide rather easily when I feel like it

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(and yep, I’m smiling. But you can’t see it because I’m playing with my iPod, haha)

I should be proud of who I am. No matter how tall (besides, I’m only 15. I might just grow a few more inches… Hehe)

A little Christmas recap:

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At the mall, with Lelê and Baby Mig

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At my Family’s Christmas Dinner (on December 23rd… long story, haha)

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At Grandma’s house, on Christmas Eve

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At Grandma’s (Dad’s Mom) house on Christmas Day. Love this picture!

I guess that’s all. Oh, and before I forget about it – last year, I recorded a Christmas video with a super-talented friend of mine called Renata. We’re still on Holiday season, right? Haha. I hope you like it!

Wish you all an amazing NYE and a 2011 full of joy, accomplishments, happiness and health!

Love you all SO much.

Bring it on, 2011!

XOXO

G.

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So Sick

Please don’t worry guys!

I’m not really sick. I mean, I am, but not health-wise.

Allow me to explain: I’m sick of these STUPID jokes.

Everytime Mom, Lelê, Bruna and I are together, she (Mom) says: “Let’s see who’s the highest one here!”.

And I’m SO. DARN. SICK. OF IT.

Let’s just say my Mom isn’t so tall. She’s maybe 5’3 1/2. So me and my sister Bruna were always not-so-tall/average (Lelê is SO TALL for her age. 4’0 for a 5 year-old girl?!).

The thing is: since I started the yo-yo diet thing (ED-related), I haven’t grown much. Which means that my sister, 1 year and 10 months younger then me, is my height (maybe a liiitle bit taller).

She’s skinnier then me. She’s always been skinnier then me. We’ll never weight the same, we’ll never have the same bodies.

But now that she’s my height, “comparasions are easily done”. You know what I mean?

Now, she has grown normally for all her life. I haven’t. I actually haven’t seen a doctor in a long time, so I don’t even know if I’ll grow any more inches.

But this “who’s the tallest” thing bothers me so much. It’s like always remembering me how anorexia made me short.

And she thinks I never knew that?! She thinks it never bothers me that I could’ve grown much more? Have a regular period? Does she think I never torture myself for all this things? That I never feel guily?!

It’s enough, for crying out loud. I’ve been eating so much more lately. Even stepfather said I was much more healthy. So WHY does she have to keep remembering me that I’m SHORT? It’s tough enough to LIVE WITH IT! Gosh, doesn’t she know it hurts me?

Here’s what happend: Mom asked me to go the grocery store with her. I said ok. Then, all of a sudden, everyone else wanted to go, too. Ok. Even though I didn’t really feel like going (the only reason I was going at first was because Mom did not want to go on her own), I decided to go anyway. So, we were all waiting for the elevator, when Mom asked “let’s line up according to our heights”.

Ok, it may not seem much, but it was enough to piss me off. I screamed back, without a second though: “SHUT UP! Just… SHUT UP!”

And I started crying. I went right back home, and closed the door behind me. I cried for a long time. I went to the living room to take the phone and call her – to tell how much she had hurted me.

But then stepfather kinda made me calm down. He said he understood. And that what she said was really wrong. He even added: “You know, if you think about it, they’re kind of bullying you”.

I know what I did was wrong. I didn’t plan on saying “shut up” to my Mom, by any means. But I was SO pissed, SO sick of all these retarted jokes, I exploded. If you’re reading this (but I’m sure you’re not, since you went to the grocery store)… Sorry, Mom. But please, just stop! It’s so not funny anymore.

Ok, so now I stopped crying. Sorry, everyone. I didn’t want this to be such a downer post… Specially after such a wonderful day (aka Christmas).

By the way – I won the new iPod Touch! And I’m really excited about it.

Ok, so I better shed my tears and go get something to eat. My belly’s growling!

Love you all. Thanks for reading this.

XOXO,

G.

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So Sick

Please don’t worry guys!

I’m not really sick. I mean, I am, but not health-wise.

Allow me to explain: I’m sick of these STUPID jokes.

Everytime Mom, Lelê, Bruna and I are together, she (Mom) says: “Let’s see who’s the highest one here!”.

And I’m SO. DARN. SICK. OF IT.

Let’s just say my Mom isn’t so tall. She’s maybe 5’3 1/2. So me and my sister Bruna were always not-so-tall/average (Lelê is SO TALL for her age. 4’0 for a 5 year-old girl?!).

The thing is: since I started the yo-yo diet thing (ED-related), I haven’t grown much. Which means that my sister, 1 year and 10 months younger then me, is my height (maybe a liiitle bit taller).

She’s skinnier then me. She’s always been skinnier then me. We’ll never weight the same, we’ll never have the same bodies.

But now that she’s my height, “comparasions are easily done”. You know what I mean?

Now, she has grown normally for all her life. I haven’t. I actually haven’t seen a doctor in a long time, so I don’t even know if I’ll grow any more inches.

But this “who’s the tallest” thing bothers me so much. It’s like always remembering me how anorexia made me short.

And she thinks I never knew that?! She thinks it never bothers me that I could’ve grown much more? Have a regular period? Does she think I never torture myself for all this things? That I never feel guily?!

It’s enough, for crying out loud. I’ve been eating so much more lately. Even stepfather said I was much more healthy. So WHY does she have to keep remembering me that I’m SHORT? It’s tough enough to LIVE WITH IT! Gosh, doesn’t she know it hurts me?

Here’s what happend: Mom asked me to go the grocery store with her. I said ok. Then, all of a sudden, everyone else wanted to go, too. Ok. Even though I didn’t really feel like going (the only reason I was going at first was because Mom did not want to go on her own), I decided to go anyway. So, we were all waiting for the elevator, when Mom asked “let’s line up according to our heights”.

Ok, it may not seem much, but it was enough to piss me off. I screamed back, without a second though: “SHUT UP! Just… SHUT UP!”

And I started crying. I went right back home, and closed the door behind me. I cried for a long time. I went to the living room to take the phone and call her – to tell how much she had hurted me.

But then stepfather kinda made me calm down. He said he understood. And that what she said was really wrong. He even added: “You know, if you think about it, they’re kind of bullying you”.

I know what I did was wrong. I didn’t plan on saying “shut up” to my Mom, by any means. But I was SO pissed, SO sick of all these retarted jokes, I exploded. If you’re reading this (but I’m sure you’re not, since you went to the grocery store)… Sorry, Mom. But please, just stop! It’s so not funny anymore.

Ok, so now I stopped crying. Sorry, everyone. I didn’t want this to be such a downer post… Specially after such a wonderful day (aka Christmas).

By the way – I won the new iPod Touch! And I’m really excited about it.

Ok, so I better shed my tears and go get something to eat. My belly’s growling!

Love you all. Thanks for reading this.

XOXO,

G.

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1 Year Old, and Let’s CELEBRATE!

Hey guys!

So, I’m happy (and sad) to announce that December 15th marked Fro-Yo Lover’s first year!

Happy because, well, blogging makes me happy. And I’m really thankful for all the awesome people I met though blogworld, and all the amazing comments that made me stay so focused and strong. You guys are amazing!

Sad because… well… it’s December 23rd now! I should’ve remembered to post on December 15th instead of being so lazy and waiting for so long. Well, anyway… There’s still time to celebrate… right?

I’d like to write down things I’m thankful for, since I was MIA during Thanksgiving season (plus, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Brazil). Let’s see…

I’m thankful for:

– my (wonderful) Mom, who’s always been there for me when I most needed

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At our hotel at Boston’s elevator. ‘Cause we’re classy like that 😉

– Baby Mig (he’s the sweetest 3-month-old baby ever! Followed by Baby Avery, haha)

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– improving my relationship with my 14-year-old sister Bruna (who just turned 14 on December 17th! Happy Birthday, sis!)

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– being able to study at a nice school, and seeing that all my study was worth it in the end

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1º B (our class)

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Looking like angels…

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… but not for long 😉

– having such wonderful, sweet and funny friends who care about me so much

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– my family (just no words. I might complain about them once in a while, but I consider myself very lucky for being related to those guys)

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– recovery

– peanut butter (seriously! I tried it for the first time in January, and it was love at the first bite!)

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– the amazing bloggers and friends I met though my blog (personally or virtually)

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Blog Meet-Up with Gabriela, from Une Vie Saine

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Lunch with Elina, from Healthy and Sane

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My dear friend Taylor (she no longer writes at A Chomp and a Chance)

– living in my house. I love my bedroom, computer, books, mobile phone, iPod and clothes just the way they are 😉

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Computer, iPod, school results, recipe notebook… must-needs 🙂

– being able to dress-up as an elf and sing my little heart out at Grandma’s hometown. It makes me so happy to make people smile and sing along!

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And many, many more… I’ll never be thankful enough for everything I am and have.

But, anyhow…

I’ll be spending Christmas with Mom’s side of the family and New Year with Dad’s side. Tomorrow I’m meeting my Godmother so we can do a little Christmas shopping together, then I’m headed to Grandpa’s house for our traditional December 23rd Christmas Dinner. I’m sure it’ll be fun!

By the way, speaking of Grandpa, I have I picture taken last Sunday (after my Mom’s Run&Walk for Longevity event) with him to show. He just bought himself an eletric bike. So cool!

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Oh, and before I forget it…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!

Wish you all a Merry Christmas (if you’re catholic) and a Happy Hanukkah (if you’re jew). And an amazing 2011, full of peace, love and cheer. Love you all!

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Baby Miguel wishes you all a “Feliz Natal!”, which means “Merry Christmas!”. And for all the jews out there, forgive me. But he’s just a baby. 🙂

See you soon!

(2011 or sooner!)

XOXO

G.

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Facing Your Fears, Fail and Sucess

Hey, y’all!

So, yeah. That was quick, right?

I thought that, since I’m on vacation, I should use my time to write a bit more. Here we go, then!

The last three days were absolutely amazing.

Well, at least the last two. I don’t really remember exactly what I did on Monday, hehe. (Oh, the the joys of being school-free…)

Let’s just skip to Tuesday. First, I started off my day with a wonderful Yoga class with Ana, a spanish old lady who actually inspired my Mom to be a Yoga teacher/instructor. It felt great, and it was the first time I did not sleep on the last part of the class (when she makes us all lay down, close our eyes and relax? A great opportunity to take a nap, if you ask me. Haha)

Later on, by 6pm, I left the house and went to my friend Gabs’ “play”. It was actually a bunch of small scenes together, all of them written by Tablado’s students. It really fun, I have such a talented friend! She has a gift for acting, I’m sure of it 🙂

After watching her, me and a few friends decided to go out to “celebrate”. I was a bit uncertain, since it was already past my dinner time and Mom had told me that when I got back we’d go out to eat at a restaurant near my house (where I usually order a big bowl of salad). Leaving would be the easy option. I was ready to say goodbye to my friends and walk to the bus stop, when something hit me.

WHY WAS I LEAVING?!

I mean, I could sure go back home and spend time with Mom. But I do this everyday! Being with my friends is something that makes me feel good about myself. I feel great around them. So why was I trading my friends for MORE “me-time”? I spend the last two weeks in my room, reading blogs, leaving the house occasionally. After all I said the last time (that I was trying my hardest to beat-up ED), I would really just chicken out and embrace tha “safer” option? Surrender to ED?!

NO. I won’t do this. NOT AGAIN.

Those were the words that popped into my head, all of a sudden. And then it hit me – if I went home, ED would win. I’d be trading my friends and the pizza place they were about to go to for my Mom and a salad. But I want to win! I WANT TO be normal. Eat pizza. Laugh with my friends. Be stress-free. Care-free.

So I went for it. I called Mom, and asked her what to do (I wasn’t so convinced that I was doing the right thing at that time). I told her, honestly, that I had no money but I really wanted to stay. Gabs and her Mom heard me and said money wouldn’t be a problem, that she’d pay for all of us. Mom said I should stay, and that she’d pay me a cab on my way back. I smiled, and we left to the pizza place.

We went to an “All You Can Eat” pizza&crepe place. At first, it was obviously not fun hearing my friends laugh and say: “I’ll give you five dollars if you eat 5 slices or pizza. Pepperoni ones. And chicken+catupiry ones. No, ok. Two and a half slices. I doubt it. I’ll give you 10 dollars…”

So, yeah… That goes on and on. But when we actually started talking about other stuff, it was fun. I struggled quite a bit, to be really honest. They offered me a slice of a margheritta crepe, and I said a weak “ok”. I grabbed my fork and knife and started slicing it so bite-sized slices. Nobody was watching me – they were all laughing and chatting. I took the first bite, then-

WOW. It was GOOOD.

The last time I ate a real mozzarella-filled crepe was, what? Two years ago?

Later on, they served us shrimp+leek crepes. I took a small slice, and ate it. I took off the shrimp – it tasted off and uncooked… and did not want my first pizza-place experience in years to be a total fail – and ate all the rest. I was proud.

The rest of the night was smooth. I laughed, talked, made fun of the boys, discussed Gabs’ exchange to Australia and made vacation plans. So nice.

Was it easy? NO.

But I decided to face my fears.

And, well?

I did it.

And I’m pretty proud of myself.

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Thanks for reading and for all the sweet comments, guys!

You guys are the best.

Love you all!

XOXO,

G.

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And I Go Back To December All The Time

So… I might be just a teeeny little bit obsessed about T-Swift’s (aka Snackface’s dopplegangster) new-to-me song “Back To December”. But it’s true – I’ve been really thinking a lot about what I’ve been doing since the beginning of the month.

Hello, everyone! Happy December.

Anyhow… In other words, as I said before, recovery isn’t easy. I’ll be honest with you – I’ve came to a point where everyone compliments me instead of talking about my unhealthy “skiny-ness” behind my back. “Gosh, you’re so beautiful… and tiny… and skinny…”

GUYS.

C’mon. Being thin DOES NOT equal being beautiful. Or healthy, for that matter.

But, my point is… it’s hard enough to convince myself of that. Hearing this stupid compliments from others…

I know it shouldn’t make me feel good. I usually react in a awkward way, in a mix of “thanks” with “I’m really not…”.But deep inside I know ED is smiling. Widely.

And I just hate that.

Why do I feel like I’ve “already gained enough”? Why am I so attached to my super-skinny jeans?

The truth is – I don’t think I could bare seeing those not fit. I think I’d totally freak out… considering I own only 3 pants (all of them are jeans, and really small). I’m so embarassed to ask Mom for new jeans… She’s taking care of a 3-month-old baby, she’s not working… we were supposed to save money. I was supposed to help her out with that.

But how can I go out without pants? Without shorts?

My old wardrobe is completely forgotten. As you may recall, back in January 2009 I was… “chubby”. Maybe even overweight. It’ll be hard for me to share this, but… Here it goes (proof):

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The pants I’m wearing here were the only ones that fitted me at that time. Right after taking this picture, we tried to find me a new pair of jeans… Without much luck. Every single one made me look… well, “fat”. According, not to me, but to Mom and Grandma. (Side note: Ok, so maybe they didn’t use the “F” word… But they meant to. You know? “This one looks a little too tight… That one doesn’t look good on you… You should try a larger one… Or maybe even a bit larger… etc.)

Anyway. Wow, I just realized how childish and whiny I sound. I beg your pardon. Please don’t think I’m hugely depressed and extremely sad – I’m doing well, too! It’s just that I tend to write about what annoys me. Sorry, everyone.

Moving on to the good news: I just got back from a little city in the countryside of São Paulo with Mom and Baby Mig named “Piracicaba”. I was invited to sing at “Casa de Noel” (Santa’s House), a project that offers a Christmas-themed show/concert featuring basically Santa Claus, his wife and his “elf” (aka me). It was SO much fun! We did 3 concerts:

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Concert #2

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Right after Concert #3 – with Baby Mig, Grandma and my young assistent (little Nino! I love love love him.)

I’ll be showing y’all better pics as soon as I can – for now, I have only a few ones from my own camera or from Casa de Noel’s website and Facebook page.

So, as you can probably tell, not everything’s lost! I’m not exactly sad right now 😉 It’s just that… ED voice keeps bugging and annoying me for some reason. Go figure. I’m sure it’ll fade… with time.

I promise to be back soon!

XOXO to all of you,

G.

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