So, I noticed I haven’t been honest with your guys. Or with myself.
Vacation was actually a great thing, because I had the chance to “not think” for a while. Not to compete with my friends to see who gets the best grades. I didn’t have to do homework, researches or school projects like a mad woman, or sleep by 2am and wake up at 5:30am. I was, in some way, “free”.
I made myself a “vacation to-do list”. I wanted to get things done while I was resting. What actually happened what that my brain was too tired. I didn’t want to study anymore. I didn’t want to do unpleasant stuff anymore. I just wanted to do, read, or eat the things I liked. And that’s where things get tricky.
Everybody has their own issues. Nobody want to handle a bad-humored and self-pitied person. What I mean is: it’s ok to want to rest. It’s ok to feel absolutely desesperate to do things just for your own personal enjoyement for a change. But acting like a (pardon me) bitch and expecting people to put up with it isn’t only unfair, but also wrong.
I learned that, even though I was on vacation, my parents were still working. A whole bunch of people was still working. And when these people come home after a specially long day at work, the last thing they want to do is to deal with their adolescent daughter/son’s grumpiness.
So I decided to cut (them) some slack and start being more helpful. Useful, if you will. However, all my brain and body wanted after so much social interaction was some privacy. I spent days going to bed by 4am watching House, episode after episode. Which meant I’d wake up around 1pm and that I’d have almost no time to do useful/helpful stuff, or even useless and selfish stuff. I was wasting half of my day.
That was when I realized I had a problem. With me, it’s always 8 or 80. Never 36 or 40. I’m fond of extremes. When I like something, I like it veeeeeeeeeeery much. When I hate something… well, same thing. You get the idea.
Which means that, when I decided I’d relax, my brain also assumed that vacation would mean not only “me time”, but also “what I want and feel matters most then anyone else’s wants or feelings” (which, for the record, is absolutely not true). It also meant that, if I would relax, I wouldn’t study at all – so I didn’t do/study some things that were really important to me before vacation. And not I feel really upset about not doing them.
I had three weeks. Now I only have six days left. And I want to make the most out of them.
This (word-full) post is meant to write down things that I want to accomplish on the next six days. A “To-Do” list. And, this time, I want to make it count.
GABRIELA’S “REST OF VACATION” TO-DO LIST
1) Study the blue book and return it on Thursday
2) Take a look at both the Maths and the Physics books, just to make sure it still makes sense to me
3) Re-study my Chemistry books and try my best to remember the nomenclatures I was supposed to know by heart
4) Take a few online tests
5) Schedule lunches and dinners with friends I haven’t seen in a while
6) Host a Harry Potter Marathon at my house on Friday or Saturday
7) Not eat until stuffed or not-eat until starve. Eat until I’m satisfied
8) Write blog posts as much as I can
9) Read (or at least start) 2 different books
10) Be nice to the people around me who love, but cannot stand my non-talking and anger-hiding person. I need to be more straigh-forward about my needs and feelings – without, obviously, going overboard. Be more understanding is also something I should try.
That’s pretty much it. I’ll add a few more items if I want, but that’s basically what I want to do with the rest of my vacation. Oh, and also watch more House episodes! For some reason, it makes me feel smart
Oh, and before I forget – the title in Latin “Aurea Mediocritas” means “The golden mean”, because I decided to find my own “middle path”, between too much and too little. It’s a really interesting theory, if you guys want to read about it. Aristotle and Budha definitely have a point
I guess I’ll go watch one more House episode now. It’s getting late, and I have tons to do in very little time!